I saw Mrs. O back in September or August--frankly, I don't even remember, but all I remember is that I saw her right after I cut my hair reallly short. Anyway, her and I got to talking, catching up with each other. We talk about our families and such since her and I have always been so close. Well then, of course, it almost goes hand-in-hand, family leads to school and my awkward explanation of my situation, and then I look right at her and she tells me: " Your worst fear is coming true." And, that's just it. That's where I am at. At the time I nodded in agreement because it's true, but it was and it wasn't true. In those summer months, I was nowhere near the anguish, frustration, anger, compassion, love jumble that fills my heart and bundles up in a ball in the pit of my stomach. That fear, the very fear that paralyzes me, keeps me up countless nights, makes me cry at any thought of it, is coming true right now. I should be optimistic, no one can take that away from me or my family, and we are--no doubt we are. But it's only inevitable, and we accept it and she deserves peace. I promise I'll update without being vague/cryptic about it. Just, right now, I don't want to explain.
Current Mood: |
 drained |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
nabdalah's journal
cheerful
pissed off
crushed
aggravated
lethargic